Frozen
by ValentineRevenge
Summary: Renji finds Byakuya crying in the snow, and wants to find out what's wrong. However, he manages to find a side to his captain that he believes never existed at all. Warnings: Somewhat OOC, Slight Yaoi, mild language, references to self-harm. Now a series!
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. Yaoi Ahead. RenBya. No like, no read. Massively OOC Byakuya**

As Renji was leaving the Kuchiki manor after visiting Rukia, he could have sworn he heard something distinctly sounding like a sob. He froze in his steps, before he heard another one. This time, he was sure of it. Somebody was crying. He followed the sound, thankful for the blanket of snow that muffled his footsteps.

Entering one of the gardens, he was shocked by what he saw. It was Byakuya, under the sakura tree, crying. Even though he was trying to muffle any noises, the shaking of his shoulders gave him away. Seeing his normally stoic captain curled up on the ground, crying his eyes out, was something that Renji had never seen. And to be honest, it unnerved him. Carefully masking his reiatsu, he snuck up on the other man.

Byakuya didn't know what was going on, until he felt a pair of arms encircle him, holding him tightly against a muscular chest. He tried to struggle free, to draw Senbonzakura, to do anything, but the other man had too good of a grip on him. "Taichou. Please stop struggling." Renji whispered softly. "R-Renji?"

"Yeah Taichou. I'm here with ya." Renji said, before pulling his captain into his lap, slackening his grasp so that the smaller man wouldn't feel trapped. Nodding slightly, Byakuya wrapped his arms around the red-head's neck, snuggling into his shoulder.

As he rubbed the Noble's back, the pineapple asked, "Byakuya? What's wrong?"Muffled in the pineapple's shoulder, the only thing the red-head heard the other man say was, "...feel so frozen."

Seeking a way to say this without it becoming too rude, Renji asked, "Taichou, I don't mean to be rude, but if you feel frozen, then why don't you go inside?"Sitting up in Renji's lap, tears coursing down his face, Byakuya whispered shakily, "It's inside I feel it. So I figured I might as well even it out." He sounded like he was about to break down crying again. "Hey. It's alright. You'll be alright." Renji said, not knowing what else to say.

"N-no Renji. I won't." These two simple sentences were prompting enough for another wave of tears. In the cold winter air, they were freezing to the Noble's cheeks fast, though enough kept coming to keep his cheeks damp. The red-head reached a hand up to wipe the tears away, only to have the captain flinch.

"'m not gonna hurt you." Renji stated as he proceeded to do what he set out to do in the first place. Wipe away his captain's tears. Upon hearing this, the Noble relaxed, leaning against his lieutenant. As the red-head ran a calloused hand through silky black hair, he said, "You'll be okay. Trust me, Byakuya. You have no reason to feel frozen on the inside."

"I do."

"Why do you say that?"

"I only ever seem to harm the ones I care about, and make their lives miserable."

"That's not true, Bya, and we both know that."

"It is."

"Give me one example."

"I practically kill you with paperwork, training and the like."

"Because its your duty."

"My 'duty' almost got my sister killed!" A fresh wave of tears started. "Shhhh... I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." Renji said as he licked away the tears, tasting their salt on his tongue. Though his captain shivered slightly, he made no move to push the pineapple away. "C'mon, let's head inside. You're going to freeze to death out here."

"I'll be just fi-" Byakuya said, only to have his protests cut off by his lieutenant kissing him firmly on the lips. Renji stood up, picking up his captain with him, and said, "It's my duty to make sure that you don't freeze your Noble ass off out here." The glare in flint eyes was only met with a smirk. Renji carried the Noble back to his bedroom, shutting the door with his foot, and depositing the other man onto the bed.

"I don't care if I have to show you, by the time I leave this manor, you will understand that you are not frozen inside. You're just as human the rest of us." Renji declared, plopping his pineapple arse down next to his captain. "What are you planning to do, Renji?"

His only response was a soft kiss from the red-head. He pulled back and stared at the other man in shock. "Just relax and let me take care of you Bya."

"No. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who isn't a horrible person. I have too many flaws."

"Byakuya, you're possibly the most perfect person I've ever met. I doubt there's anyone out there better for me than you."

Before the Noble could open his mouth to protest, his lips were met with a soft kiss. As they pulled apart, Renji said, "It doesn't matter if you have flaws. I'll just kiss them away." Before he dropped back down for another kiss. Feeling those light pink, chilly lips against his was pure bliss. His tongue snaked out for a taste.

Byakuya opened his mouth slightly, allowing the pineapple's tongue in. Once inside, the red-head ran his tongue over everything in the Noble's mouth, mapping it out, and taking in the unique taste of tea and hot sauce. His captain moaned slightly, one hand coming up to pull Renji closer, the other going up to free his hair from it's ridiculous pineapple.

They pulled apart, gasping for air slightly, still connected by a strand of saliva. Renji smirked, kissing his captain again, before attacking his jaw with a flurry of kisses, nipping where he saw fit. He continued his path downward, devouring the slim, pale column that was a throat to the Kuchiki, running his tongue down the length of it, causing the other male to let out a soft groan.

When he reached the collarbone that jutted out of Byakuya's pale skin, he bit down, leaving a bleeding mark, causing the other to let out a pained yelp, before he soothed away the hurt with his tongue. By this time, Byakuya had tangled his hands in the crimson strands, tugging them gently as the pineapple continued his downward path.

Finding his path blocked by the robe that Byakuya was wearing, Renji sighed, shoving it off his shoulders, leaving him bared to the waist. The Noble blushed. "You don't have to blush." Renji said, kissing the captain again. "Really shouldn't have been out in something this thin in such cold weather. You might get sick. And don't give me any story about how you were trying to make the inside match the outside."

As he pulled away, to continue his downward path, something caught his eye. He grasped Byakuya's wrist gently, only holding tightly enough to prevent him from running, and looked at the skin. "Byakuya? What are these?" although he already knew. He wanted it not to be from what he thought it was. Let it have been a training accident. A mission gone wrong. A piece of silverware that had slipped. Anything but what he knew deep in his heart it was from. "N-Nothing, Renji."

Renji pushed the sleeve up further, causing more of his captain's arm to be exposed. "Don't lie to me. Those aren't nothing." Tears welled up in Byakuya's eyes again, before they started to slide down his cheeks. Acting quickly, the red-head laid down next to the Noble, pulling him into an embrace. After a tense moment, the smaller of the two relaxed. "Please just tell me."

"No. You'll think I'm crazy."

"I won't." Renji said, running his hands through the captain's hair, in a calming manner. "Promise?" At that moment, Byakuya reminded Renji more of a little kid than of a captain. The captain that he knew didn't cry, didn't go outside in a thin robe trying to freeze himself to death, didn't think that he was 'frozen' inside, didn't carve up his wrists, didn't ask Renji to 'promise'... the list could go on and on.

"Yes. Are they what I think they are?"

Tightening his hold on his lieutenant, Byakuya could only nod.

"Why?"

"Just wanted to feel something. Anything. Anything that would tell me that I'm not dead inside. Anything at all."

"You're not hurting inside, not dead." Renji said, kissing his captain on the lips, before gently prying the Noble's arms off of him. The look in the captain's eyes was one of fear. As though he could sense it, the red-head said, "Don't worry. I'm not leaving you." With that, he picked up the wrist he had already seen, pushing the sleeve of the robe above his elbow.

The sight that he saw broke his heart. The porcelain skin was marred by deep, red cuts, over scars, both old and new. Even though he didn't have any experience with healing things, Renji could tell by the amount of scars and nearly healed cuts that this had been going on for some time. Thankfully, none of them looked infected. "Please don't do this again Byakuya." was all he said, before he dropped his mouth to his captain's wrist, kissing and licking over the cuts. Byakuya gasped softly, before he asked, "You're not angry with me?"

"No. Not at all."

After finishing one arm, Renji moved onto the next, finding it just as bad as the other. He sighed, before he did the same to this one as to the other. "You mean too much to me to be doing things like this."

"I do?"

"Yes." the pineapple kissed the Noble on the lips again. "Way too fucking much to be doing stupid shit like this. You're not frozen." They lay there in silence for several more minutes, before Byakuya broke the silence with, "Renji?"

"Can you stay with me? Please?"

"Sure."

"I mean, sleep here tonight."

"Why?"

"Because I want your face to be the first thing I see tomorrow morning when I wake up."

"That's good enough for me." Renji said, pulling his captain closer, kissing him gently. The Noble's only reaction was to snuggle into the red-head's shoulder, perfectly content to lay there and breathe in the unique scent of Renji. Within moments, he fell into a light snooze.

Renji stayed awake, watching over his captain. He never thought that something like this could happen. Yet it had. In the back of his mind, he wondered if this could be the start of something new. "You're not frozen, Bya." he whispered softly. It seemed that the captain had heard him, for he shifted slightly in his sleep, murmuring something incoherent beneath his breath.

**FIN.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own absolutely nothing. **

When Byakuya woke, for the first tme in many years, his bed was warm, and he was cozy. His nose detected a faint scent on the air that he normally only associated with his lieutenant. Also he noticed, in his bed was another body. A warm, strong body with a rather pleasant smell. He relished the feel of arms holding onto him securely. Still mostly asleep, he snuggled closer to the other person in his bed, resolving to go back to sleep, since that night he had the most restful night in years. He gave a contented sigh, breathing in deeply and drifted off again.

When he woke again, it was nearly 2 hours later, and someone was shaking him gently by the shoulders. "Wake up, Byakuya. You're gonna waste th' whole mornin'!" Renji said softly. "Oh... Sorry..." Byakuya said, not realizing that he was apologizing without cause. After all, he had almost never apologized in his grown life, but here he was saying that he was sorry for no decent reason.

"About yesterday...?" Byakuya asked, unsure. "We'll talk about it after breakfast. Hell, we have the whole damn day to talk if you want. We're off today so..." Renji said, looking at the Noble carefully. "Wait...Breakfast?"

"Yes, Bya. Breakfast."

The Noble raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You're making me eat." he said slowly.

"Yes."

"No."


End file.
